Accept yourself just as you are.

That curious paradox — the only way we can change is to first accept ourselves just as we are — was identified by Carl Rogers, the father of humanistic psychology.

Rogers spoke from personal experience. He wasn’t loftily trying to fix broken people. He was learning from them, and sharing…

Discover how it is affecting you as an adult.

To know ourselves today, we must return to the beginning.

To understand why we do what we do, we must first greet our much younger selves. Then, we can tease out the adult behaviors that no longer serve us and replace them with ones that will.

Charlotte Joko Beck, beloved…

Without it, you’ll feel like something is missing.

In my experience, after physical safety, the number one challenge to healthy relationships is a lack of emotional safety.

In working with individuals and couples — and with myself — I see it over and over. It’s the off-limit topics that make relationships feel unsafe. …

Use them to transform your little corner of the world.

“You will never be more powerful or peaceful than when you are completely vulnerable, with nothing to defend.” — Unknown

I don’t know if I read that quote or made it up many years ago, but it has to some degree shaped my adult life as a person and my…

Revise your understanding of who you need to trust.

As a psychotherapist, I often hear, “He’s only after one thing, and it’s not a permanent commitment,” or “She’s only after one thing, and I can’t afford it.”

My response in both cases is similar — there are plenty of trustworthy people out there who are looking for what you…

How to find people who manage themselves.

Ever spend time around someone who is out to change the world, and that includes you?

Byron Katie, a present-day philosopher and author, says, “There are three kinds of business in the world. God’s business, everybody else’s business, and our business. …

And why the effort is worth it.

Humility can be a slippery concept.

When clients describe themselves as humble, I sometimes wonder, hmmm, is that true?

When we believe we’ve arrived at humility, we need to be careful what we’re experiencing isn’t arrogance. Arrogance is a sense of pride that makes us feel we’re better than others…

And how you’ll know you’re making progress.

As Byron Katie, philosopher and author of Loving What Is says: “If you argue with reality, you will only lose 100% of the time.”

When life dishes up something you don’t want or denies you something you do want, it’s human to resist. And that sums up the story of…

Be prepared to change your mind.

Whether you’re fifteen or eighty, you can identify a want and set out to achieve it at any stage of life. You start with one step in the direction of that goal. And then take another one, and another, until you’re going full steam ahead.

You won’t always know precisely…

That doesn’t mean you are one.

Let me count the ways I’ve felt I acted like an idiot or thought I appeared to be an idiot. No, I won’t because they are endless.

Whether I looked like an idiot or just felt like one, my take-away from those experiences is that I learned something useful from…

Robyn Norman

Therapist, mindfulness coach, writer. Obsessed with relationships and making them better. Get in touch at or www.partnersinmindfulliving.

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