If You Want a Rich Life, Keep it Personal

If You Want a Rich Life, Keep it Personal

I work in a field that involves my heart. Not the organ, but rather the emotional center of me.

As a psychotherapist, I’ve been trained and advised and encouraged not to let things get personal. That’s ironic. If the work I do isn’t meant to bring people closer together and be personal, I’m not sure what it’s supposed to do.

To be clear, personal is not a euphemism for having poor boundaries. Taking things personally that have nothing to do with us can be an expression of a boundary issue, but I’m not talking about that.

Having unclear boundaries is when we can’t figure out where one of us ends, and the other person begins. That ends up diminishing both of us.

The personal I’m talking about is when we interact and enlarge each other.

I work to keep it personal. And I work just as hard to maintain healthy boundaries so that I don’t get in the way of building healthy relationships that matter to me. When I find that space where both are happening at the same time, that’s the sweet spot. That’s where we have a meaningful interaction.

When we look at each one of our relationships as an opportunity to be personal, we become more fully human.

Be kind. Love. Give everyone who comes into the circle of your life the benefit of the doubt. See their strengths, and if they’re not harmful, overlook their predictable weaknesses and limitations. Bring your best self to every meeting with another human being, because you have no guarantees that they won’t be the last person with whom you interact.