And achieve success as a by-product along the way. — This isn’t a bullet-point list of ‘how-to’s.’ Instead, it’s the story of how I learned the importance of perspective and where I put my attention. When my son was a teenager, his dad and I came close to blowing it. We were faced with a choice. We could keep reading…

How to make sure that doesn’t happen. — Both self-absorption and self-reflection require attention to our inner world. But that’s where the similarity ends. Self-reflection is about honestly exploring how you behave, not so much about how you feel. Instead, it’s seriously considering your character, actions, and motives, and then telling yourself the truth about yourself. Self-absorption is…

The only things you need to talk about with your partner are the things you believe you can’t talk about. — Your growth as a conscious being is measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations you are willing to have. — Kevin Kelly, author and founding Executive Editor of Wired Magazine. Telling the truth is more challenging than you might think — do it anyway. The subheading to this article resonates for me, personally and professionally, when working with couples. …

A call to action by an inspired storyteller. — “When it’s over, you’ll want to raze every correction facility in the land.” Elon Green. I can’t stop crying. Not sure if they’re tears of a broken heart or a heart broken open. The tears are bitter-sweet. I don’t want this book to be over. Ever. Keri Blakinger, in Corrections…

Stop running away from it — stare it straight in the face, and use it. — Facing feelings of insecurity is like asking someone to stab themself in the eye with a pencil. Who wants to see characteristics that can come from insecurity, much less confront them? Negative self-image. Perfectionism. Jealousy. Isolation. Emotional dependence. Bullying. Egoism. Passivity. Well, I do. I want to see them so…

And it’s the third question that has the most punch. — I have a confession to make. Despite having taken refuge in the Buddha some years ago — which is to commit to the Buddha (the teacher), the Dharma (the teachings), and the Sangha (the community), I am not someone you would follow to figure out how to be a good…

Skills to find calm, even in the midst of a stormy life — For a couple of days, I lost my mind. Well, I didn’t lose it; I misplaced my brain’s managing partner. Before I figured it out, I was sleeping poorly and noticed my resting heart rate was going up. I felt tired, frustrated, and uninspired. I heard myself labeling everyone and…

Learn to take reasonable risks and use lots of discretion in listening to others’ advice. — The current average life expectancy for the world in 2022 is 72.98 years. In the time you have left, what do you not want to leave undone? Living a big life takes courage. Each time you take a reasonable risk, you learn, through trial and error, that you can manage yourself regardless of what life hands…

Master the art of managing yourself, not them. — People will always see the world through different lenses. We can turn that into a problem or learn to manage ourselves like class acts when conflict rears its gnarly head. Whether you’re at work, at home, or shopping at your local deli, you can choose how to handle the discomfort…